Raoul Hernandez Calls Out Spencer Morgan, Says He Has No Friends

Really, Spencer Morgan? You think one apology is going to make up for everything you’ve done to me? First, you pull me away from my two best friends, Puncho Baggins and Ricky Robinson. Two guys that know me, deep down. They respect who I am, not just the nice white linen suits I sometimes like to wear. I bet you don’t even know why I like my pants to be so loose and breezy. Because you never ask about what my interests are, Spencer.

But I have to admit, I got a little swept up in everything. I’ve only been in America for a few years, and all of a sudden, some guy’s showing me all about fashion and style? It was overwhelming, and I didn’t mind that I wasn’t hanging out with Ricky and Puncho as much. Too bad, just like anything good, whether it’s a secluded alleyway in Havana for private jerk sessions or a solid tag team, nothing can last for long.

When I got my arm broke, I figured you’d stick around, see how I was doing. But you didn’t, did you, Spencer? You went right into that Uncle Sledding Title tournament, and you won it. Congratulations to you. It sucked you got screwed over with the Dot TV title, and now you had something you didn’t have to defend every week. I figured we could bust heads as a team, you could defend the mug every now and again, and you’d still have time to work at the Men’s Wearhouse. Too bad that I had your priorities in exactly the wrong order.

That week you came back to me, saying Team SUITS should get into title contention, I was pretty excited. Then you left in the middle of the match, making me look like an idiot. I only wish that was the worst of it. You told me the next week you were going to make up for everything, but you didn’t even show, leaving me to get my ass kicked. I thought getting exiled from Cuba was the last time I’d be left in public with my dick in my hand.

So guess what, Spencer? I’m throwing down a challenge. A tag team match, because I know I’m the only person even close to being a friend of yours. It’s going to be good to beat you down again. Hope you can try and find someone to tag with. Hey, maybe one of those mannequins will suit up, no pun intended.