March Sadness 4 Is Upon Us

Sadness Season is once again upon us. It’s been nearly one year since we saw Sanders Suzuki take the SCFL U.S. title, and many of us have been away, in our homes, having ramen delivered to our doorsteps as we decipher the latest vaccination scheduling spreadsheets.

As mayor, I don’t wish to bring myself anymore into the spotlight than I already am, but I have used this year to learn how to better articulate myself through the written word, expanded my WordPress business, and am thinking about creating a website for simple DIY ramen recipes. Put some dried seaweed on it. So tasty. Also sad. 

As mayor, I must bring up the death toll on the Beliribon population: 2 people have died from the coronavirus since we went into lockdown, and that is two too many. I consider it a great failure to my citizens. Overall, however, since going into lockdown and shutting down all events like the SCFL, death rates are down over 1000%, with SCFL-related deaths down almost 100%. One of the two people to die of coronavirus was the Maximo Missouri, as he contacted the virus sometime on the way home from last year’s Requiem For A Sadness show, so we are counting that as both a COVID-19 death and a wrestling death. Please let us know if you think that’s unfair to the statistics.

For the last four years, March Sadness has been the ultimate test of grit, determination, and sadness. 32 people, one night.

The winner goes on to fight for the title, and the title winner of that match gets to fight the referee of March Sadness, who is just as much a hero as anyone. March Sadness is a marathon. Won by legends of SCFL: Karate Hendrix, Spencer Morgan, Sanders Suzuki, and ???

Here are our brackets: one side is vaccinated, the other is not. You will see there are many ??? marks, as some people have not been filled, and some special guests may hopefully arrive we hope. Hi. 

Vaccinated

1. CM Chainsaw

2. Weather Walker

3. ???? – currently unfilled

4. Fun Adams

5. Spencer Morgan

6. Leathers

7. Philly Supreme

8. Freddy Fischer

9. Samantha Sugar

10. Brick Roberts

11. Darwin Finch

12. Blaster Robinson

13. Maniac Missouri

14. Offers Thompson (Shadow Realm is pro-vax)

15. El Hijo de Armadillo Gigante

16. Bike Bianchi

Not Vaccinated

1. Xylophonist Bianchi

2. Mayor Let Liu (Bike Bianchi)

3. Ichabod Adams

4. Federal Bell

5. Gyro Supreme

6. SCRAMBLE WINNER

7. Front Reed

8. a Monk

9. ??? (we were told to keep this secret)

10. Sanders Suzuki

11. Daddy Denim

12. Technology Cooper (Denim was beaten to a bloody pulp by Cooper at Sanders’ wedding)

13. Veneno

14. Jensen Woods

15. Zoroastriani Brown

16. Patty Acosta “I just want to wait and see how things shake out”

Please watch a prelude to sadness: